In Japan, I see individuals carrying a strong sense of responsibility in both their work and daily lives. However, I feel that people here—both adults and kids—need more opportunities to communicate openly, have someone to talk to, and access professionals who can listen and provide reassurance.
Generally, both parents and children are so focused on their duties, studies, and work that they rarely have meaningful conversations to build trust, understanding, or deeper relationships. Family communication often revolves around meeting expectations tied to roles and responsibilities, rather than engaging in open, heartfelt dialogue. As a result, parents and children may feel like they’re just fulfilling obligations for each other instead of acting out of genuine care. This creates emotional distance, even while they live under the same roof, and in some cases, it widens the gap between their minds and hearts.
Parents could greatly benefit from guidance through counselors or coaches, not just to improve their parenting skills, but also to grow as individuals and clarify their own goals and priorities. Similarly, children need to feel loved, understood, and reassured. Encouraging children to express their feelings and dreams can go a long way, and this can be supported by counseling or coaching sessions designed for them.
In today’s rapidly changing world, both parents and children need ongoing encouragement and guidance from those around them to stay motivated and adaptable. Yet in Japan, the constant busyness of daily life makes it difficult to dedicate time to meaningful connection. This is why seeking professional advice or spending time with trained experts is essential. It helps families grow closer, improve their dynamics, and set clear priorities. Parents need affirmation and encouragement, while children need quality time with their parents—especially in a culture like Japan’s, where kindness and consideration for others are deeply valued, often through subtle or unspoken rules.
Family issues such as hikikomori (social withdrawal), frequent job or school changes (fleeters), divorce, and even high suicide rates are often tied to how families communicate and function within societal expectations.
Notes:
- Communication in Japanese families often focuses on fulfilling societal roles, leaving little space for emotional connection.
- Professional support from counselors or coaches can help both parents and children articulate emotions and goals, improving family relationships.
- Social issues like hikikomori, fleeters, divorce, and suicide are linked to the lack of emotional connection and meaningful communication within families.
Here are 15 multiple-choice questions, split for parents and children, to assess their understanding and gather insights about family communication and emotional connection in Japanese households. We kindly ask you to answer according to the category that applies to you. Thank you for your cooperation!
For Parents
- How often do you have open, meaningful conversations with your child?
- A) Daily
- B) A few times a week
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- What do you believe is the biggest barrier to communication with your child?
- A) Lack of time
- B) Different priorities
- C) Fear of judgment or misunderstanding
- D) Not sure
- Do you feel that fulfilling family duties leaves little room for emotional connection?
- A) Yes, completely
- B) Sometimes
- C) No, not at all
- D) I haven’t thought about it
- How comfortable are you discussing your emotions with your child?
- A) Very comfortable
- B) Somewhat comfortable
- C) Uncomfortable
- D) I avoid it
- Do you seek external advice, like counseling or coaching, to improve family communication?
- A) Yes, regularly
- B) Occasionally
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- What is your primary goal in communicating with your child?
- A) Building trust and understanding
- B) Guiding them through responsibilities
- C) Fulfilling cultural or societal expectations
- D) I’m not sure
- How do you respond when your child expresses negative emotions?
- A) I listen patiently
- B) I try to solve the problem immediately
- C) I feel unsure of how to react
- D) I discourage them from expressing negativity
- What prevents you from spending more quality time with your child?
- A) Work commitments
- B) My own stress and fatigue
- C) Their busy schedule
- D) All of the above
- Do you feel your child understands the effort you put into fulfilling family responsibilities?
- A) Yes, they appreciate it
- B) Somewhat, but not fully
- C) No, they don’t seem to notice
- D) Not sure
- How important is it for children to express their feelings openly?
- A) Very important
- B) Somewhat important
- C) Not very important
- D) Not important at all
- Do you feel equipped to handle emotional challenges within the family?
- A) Yes, very confident
- B) Somewhat confident
- C) Not confident at all
- D) I rely on external help
- How often do you feel emotionally supported as a parent?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- What do you value most in family relationships?
- A) Trust and love
- B) Fulfillment of responsibilities
- C) Harmony and avoiding conflict
- D) I’m not sure
- Would you consider professional help to improve your parenting skills or family communication?
- A) Yes, definitely
- B) Maybe, if needed
- C) No, I can manage on my own
- D) Not sure
- How would you describe your relationship with your child?
- A) Close and trusting
- B) Functional but not very emotional
- C) Distant and reserved
- D) Difficult to define
For Children
- How often do you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with your parents?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- What stops you from talking openly with your parents?
- A) Fear of being misunderstood
- B) Not wanting to burden them
- C) Feeling like they won’t care
- D) Not sure
- Do you feel your parents truly understand you?
- A) Yes, most of the time
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- D) Not at all
- How do your parents respond when you share your feelings?
- A) They listen and support me
- B) They try to solve the problem right away
- C) They dismiss or ignore my feelings
- D) They don’t seem to understand
- Do you feel like your parents spend enough quality time with you?
- A) Yes, definitely
- B) Somewhat, but not enough
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- Do you feel pressured to meet your parents’ expectations?
- A) Yes, a lot
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- How often do your parents talk about their feelings with you?
- A) Often
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- Do you wish you had more open communication with your parents?
- A) Yes, absolutely
- B) Maybe, occasionally
- C) Not really
- D) No, I’m okay with how it is
- What do you want most from your parents?
- A) More time together
- B) More understanding and patience
- C) Clearer guidance and structure
- D) Freedom to make my own choices
- How often do you feel loved and appreciated by your parents?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- What do you think is the biggest challenge in communicating with your parents?
- A) They don’t listen enough
- B) They don’t understand my feelings
- C) They are too busy
- D) Not sure
- How would you describe your relationship with your parents?
- A) Very close and open
- B) Okay, but not very emotional
- C) Distant and formal
- D) Difficult to explain
- Do you feel your parents are approachable when you’re facing a problem?
- A) Yes, always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- D) Never
- What would make you feel more comfortable talking to your parents?
- A) If they listened without judging
- B) If they spent more time with me
- C) If they shared their feelings too
- D) I’m not sure
- Would you consider talking to a counselor or coach to improve communication with your parents?
- A) Yes, definitely
- B) Maybe, if needed
- C) No, I don’t think it’s necessary
- D) Not sure